Couples Counseling Irvine – Good relationships bring happiness and health to our lives. There are basic ways to make relationships healthy, even though each one is different — parents, siblings, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends and roommates. Here are five ways to create Better Relationships!

1. Keep expectations realistic. No one can be everything we might want him or her to be and no one person can meet all of our needs. Sometimes people disappoint us, but that is not a reason to end a relationship.  Healthy relationships mean accepting people as they are and not trying to change them!

2. Talk with each other. It cannot be said enough: communication is essential in good relationships! It means— Take the time. Really be there. Genuinely listen. Do not plan what to say next while you are trying to listen. Do not interrupt. Listen with your ears and your heart. Sometimes people have emotional messages to share.  If you need to, repeat what has been said in order to truly understand.

• Ask if you think you may have missed the point.
• Ask friendly and appropriate questions.
• Ask for feedback and show your interest.
• Share information.

Sharing information aids in the initial formation of relationships and maintains connection in on-going relationships.  Be open to sharing yourself, but do not overwhelm others with too much information at once.

3. Be flexible. Most of us try to keep people and situations predictable and familiar.  It is natural to feel anxious, even sad or angry, when people or things change and we are not ready for it. Healthy relationships mean change, growth, and independence are allowed!

4. Take care of you. You probably want those around you to like you so you may try to please them.  It is not possible to please everyone all of the time.  Do not forget to please yourself. Healthy relationships are mutual and not built on dependency.  It strengthens relationships when you keep your life in balance. Other people help make our lives satisfying, but they cannot create that satisfaction for us. Only you can create meaning and enjoyment in life.

5. Be dependable. If you make plans with someone, follow through. If you promise to be somewhere at a specific time, be on time.  If you have an assignment deadline, meet it. If you take on a responsibility, complete it. Good relationships are trustworthy.  Nothing will cause a breach in a relationship faster than a lack of trust.

If you implement these five principals in your life, you will be happier and less stressed.  If you are struggling in any of these areas, talking to a counselor can help you learn and practice the skills which are necessary for having successful and fulfilling relationships